Non-Christians Live and Unplugged at Gordon College

Photo: Freshman math major Caitlin Schwanda shows how going against the mainstream evangelical trend at Gordon can make some students feel disconnected.

Sarah Grimes hasn’t been to chapel this semester. Even when she used to go, she said it was like being force-fed a Bible; now it just doesn’t seem relevant. Grimes, a senior sociology major from Terryville, CT, was raised by a Christian family in a Christian sub-culture and studies at a Christian college, but she considers herself a “Christian agnostic” at best.

Students in similar positions pepper the Gordon community, though sparingly. Most of them prefer to keep under the radar. Gordon may be a liberal arts institution, but the non-believers of this evangelical community say they feel a lot of social pressure.

“It’s hard to feel plugged in, even though I love people,” said Grimes. “I feel different. [But] I’m very good at playing the game.” She doesn’t talk about her beliefs with many of her peers, not for fear of judgment but because she doesn’t want them to feel sad for her.

Grimes isn’t the only Gordon student questioning, doubting, or even distancing herself from her childhood faith. “It doesn’t really add up for me,” said a senior philosophy major who asked to remain unidentified. He began to see Christianity as “an emotional substitute for something for which there is no evidence.”

As he excavated his faith in search of answers, the back-burner doubts of his adolescence flared into unpalatable problems. Six months ago he admitted to himself that he wasn’t a Christian anymore – but, like Grimes, he’d rather keep this knowledge to himself.

“[When they know you’re not a Christian,] people already have their minds made up about you and you don’t even know their name,” he said.

This is not to say that non-Christians are utterly alienated at Gordon. The student handbook says this school is to be “an atmosphere of free inquiry,” and students agree that it is. They said most professors allow – indeed, invite – faith-related inquiry in the classroom.

“Gordon is liberal enough,” said Grimes. “It’s not all fire and brimstone. But a lot of people could stand to be more open-minded.”

According to Professor of Christian Ministries Mark Cannister, listening should be the priority in interactions with peers who have different denominational backgrounds or no faith at all. The conversation should not begin with an accusation, but with a question.

“It shouldn’t go, ‘You can’t believe this and that at the same time,’” said Cannister, “but ‘help me understand how you can believe these two things at once.’ People want to be heard. You get a lot more mileage out of asking a question back.”

Zach Capalbo, a sophomore computer science/philosophy major, invites Gordon students to ask a lot of questions. Capalbo, who considers himself a Christian, co-founded the “Atheist Society” to provide a forum where beliefs not normally explored at Gordon can be discussed.

“I’m not even sure what truth is a lot of the time,” said Capalbo. But he is sure that a surprising number of students have expressed interest in the Society. The group is not comprised of atheists, as the name suggests, but of students interested in dialogue – students who want, as Cannister suggested, to listen.

The Society hopes to engage Muslim, Wiccan, neopagan and other beliefs, not by subscribing to them but simply by understanding them. The point is acceptance, not agreement.

Refusal to converse about other beliefs tells those who are different, “there are some people we believe God doesn’t love,” said Cannister. This attitude is the inverse of the gospel evangelicals claim to believe.

The question of world religions is not new to Christians. The query behind the query, according to Cannister, is not “are there other ways to God?” but “are you always right about everything?” The Atheist Society accepts that they might be wrong by engaging other perspectives.

Many of the students who, like Grimes, are questioning their faith grew up in Christian settings. Cannister noted that this seems to be the pattern: students who became Christians in high school tend to be on fire for their faith, while those from Christian homes begin to question it.

“The new Christians are shocked by the complacency of those who grew up Christian,” he said. “There’s diversity of what it means to be Christian.” All of the different histories, denominations, and questions that shape this campus can create tension between the burning and the burnt out.

“I appreciate the Christian setting [at Gordon] because I don’t want to give up the faith,” said Grimes. “Talking about faith is an opportunity here. I don’t want to lose hope. . . . I want to remain in Christianity without necessarily subscribing to it.”